Out Of Reach

Death puts a lot in perspective.

Caring for someone through their last days is a bittersweet rewarding experience. The experience of easing someone’s passing. Giving them something to smile about at the end of their life. A joke, a fond memory..

After I said my last goodbye and my family friend had left, I felt at piece. At piece for her and the suffering she endured with cancer, and at piece knowing that this is a chapter all of us must face sooner or later. We are all connected. And in this we are not alone.

Anxiety crept up on me quite some time after her passing.

A restlessness surfaced which I chose to blame on too much caffeine.

Tossing and turning at night and the question: ,,Am I living my life right?”

(Image: pbs.org)

I am living life how I pictured it should be. Content, happy, secure.

I travel a lot, love my job and never complain… And still somebody dying has shaken me awake wondering “Where is all this going?”

The way my life plays out is totally out of my grasp.

So much pressure on finding your true calling. Finding the right mate. Not only finding happiness, but maintaining it.

We can actively work on our own fullfillment. The bible, Gurus, Cosmopolitan tells us that..

But what about the thoughts we can’t control? The questions that appear shortly after the happiest of times nudging us not to take this moment for granted and contemplate our life path.

Sometimes even the most perfect of lives ends up being questioned “What the hell am I doing!? What the hell am I doing or not doing to make me feel so much doubt?”

Supporting The Crowd

Dear readers,

On a busy day it’s easy to get caught up in our own drama and see only our shortcomings. It’s good to step back and remember that we are not alone and have a lot to be grateful for.

Gratitude opens our heart and makes life´s hardships seem a bit more bearable.

Gratitude for the important things in life, but also for the little joys, like finding a necklace you thought you had lost, or finding something great in the SALEs pile!

I want to say Thank You to:

Lady Sergine from:

Lady Sergine-Be You !!!!
Thank you for involving me in the ‘Versatile Blog Award‘ competition and for nominating me!

Especially in creative activities, we need all the support we can get.

It means a lot knowing that people actually do take a moment to read what you have written and contribute to it.

It’s fun being able to express yourself creativitely on a web-platform like wordpress, where we can meet fellow bloggers and learn from each other.

As part of the competition, here are the 7 facts about me:

  1. My favourite animal is “The Killerwhale”,
  2. I work for a big Airline Company.
  3. My middle name is George
  4. I am utterly repulsed by cockroaches
  5. I am fluent and accent free in German and English
  6. I believe in miracles and that even the craziest things are possible.
  7. I wanted to study marine biology, but ended up studying acting and speech at a Performing Arts College.

And my interesting nominees for ‘The Versatile  Blog Award’ are:


So here the rules:

  •  Show the award on your blog.
  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Share seven facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 15 blogs.
  • Link your nominees’ blogs, and let them know.

Let the support begin…



In a world full of opinions it is hard to just STOP, BREATH and BLOCK out the noise.

Eating clean, Practicing Yoga and taking time to just BREATH and MEDITATE seems to be the solution for nearly every problem on earth nowadays.

And although doing these things does make us feel more connected to ourselves, the world around us and brings a moment of sunshine to our lives, it´s damn hard to keep up on a regular basis. Let alone notice that it is something we can profit from having in our lives.

Becoming a mindful person, who has the ability to just step out of a situation and watch it from the outside for a moment without judgement takes a lot of mind training and effort if you have been living your life unaware of your spiritual side. To many it just seems like a trend, a movement, buy some yoga pants, go organic you´re in.

We typical western humans thrive on proving individuality, proving our point and clearly distinguishing right from wrong.

In a head and heart full of opinions, goals and logic it is hard to let go and just be. It is hard to even accept, that maybe there is more to our lives than just strategy and coping with stuff.

Still if you´re a person who lives trying out new activities, going after new jobs and reading up on different topics, this is definitely a topic worth giving a chance.

Spirituality in any form is a gift to us, if we are able to find it and let it in.

It is something so delicate, that it can´t be forced upon us without pushing us even further away from it.

We need to feel that we need it in our lives. A silent friend we have always missed and longed to be reunited with. A somebody or something we have to be ready for though, or we will just oversee it and take it for granted.

I would not describe myself as a very religious person. My parents and I used to visit church at one point in my childhood. And I never really got the point. The service bored me, and I would just sit there waiting for the food to be served afterwards. I only really remember the smell of the old church hall , old and musky with a hint of old lady.

We stopped going, my life was filled with other more fun activities.

It wasn´t until I hit puberty, that my grandmother once again started shoving Christ in my face. Everything she said was served with a dose of Christ, Jesus, faith and so on.

I couldn´t bear it. Nothing tastes worse than something forced down our throats and nothing makes a rebel more rebellious than telling him what´s missing in his life and pin pointing all the places where he is moving in the wrong direction.

Not till years later after running around in negative circles, hurting and damaging myself with negative beliefs and low self esteem, like a lot of young people out there I longed for a friend. A constant friend. But relying on someone to make me feel better was a dead end.

Bringing instant relief but in the long term, fueling me and my life with anxiety and fear of losing that someone. 

And so my spiritual path began. My spiritual research, individually customized to suit me.

No I have not become a full blown christian, but I have become open to letting spirituality into my life. And I am open to giving anything a chance.

And that is the key to the door.

No matter how educated we are, we don´t now everything. We can´t control everything. Life just happens.

It is scary not having 100% control over things we love, things we work hard for and things we don´t even know are going to come into our lives, but taking time to check out spirituality or at least open the door to let it in, when a time comes where it is needed, can take off the pressure and bring some soothing to our everyday lives.

Doesn´t that sound just the tiniest bit lovely? Makes me feel relief.

To me spirituality is the motivation to do anything in my power that brings happiness and ease into my life.

I won´t tell my story in full detail now… It´s a blog post, not a biography and simply not my web-story telling style.

But I will say what the first step was.

Surrendering to the fact that no matter how hard I tried I needed something greater than me, something more powerful and knowledgeable to lead the way.

I was just exhausted running around in circles and just couldn´t do it on my own anymore.

And the thing needed most at that moment was : Comfort.

Warm, cozy loving comfort

How do we give that to ourselves?

Being mindful…what everyone is on about…

Being spiritual.

Being connected.

At first. The very first step is finding out what our primal need is at the very moment.

For me at that time it was Comfort





Attachment 3

The whole month of January was left blogless. Expressing myself rather through photography than writing I stuck with instagram as my only social media source.

Something in me has been changing. I decided to travel to Dubai for a bit of sunshine during the cold, grey winter month of January, which felt so depressing after christmas was over. “Happy New Year” was fun, but after that…? Where was I left?

With my full time job not starting again until March( Thank you boss, for squeezing in my holidays for January& February), the once longed for time-off started becoming a nuisance, catapulting me into boredom and with that a light state of depression.

Being in the U.A.E I could not believe how much the sun instantly elevated my mood. I wondered if people in general living in countries with 90% chance of sunshine throughout the year ever felt down. But then again the grass is always greener on the other side. Once arrived on the other side, a whole new set of problems tries to poison our minds.

`A-European-woman-from-cold-country` problems start to become:  A-European-woman-staying-in-hot-country` problems.

While away I noticed I needed a break. Not from the stress of everyday life, (My life was absolutely stress free), but from my stressed out expectations I had of myself. I had only just started this blog in October and already noticed a shift within me happening.

Is travelling what I solely want to blog about? It was how I had casually started out, with enthusiasm and I do have the experiences and advice to back up a travel blog…

But crap… I don´t think it´s actually what I´m all about.

It´s not what drives me to write.

What I enjoy doing with travel is indeed uploading my travel experience in form of pictures. Put them all together   -Poof-   It´s a gallery!!!

Hell !! I love communicating through Instagram with other fellow instagrammers. sharing my support of there travel pics and vice versa. I´m interested in an authentic insta-bond with the guys I follow or who follow me. And it´s all backed up with photographs.

My love for photography. A visual aid with no long ranting needed.

Yes a picture can say a thousand words.

So I got thinking. Oh crap. The thoughts weren´t good:

  1.   I need a blog remodeling. Already?
  2.   I´ve only been blogging since October.
  3.   What about my wordpress followers? They liked my blog, because they were               interested in the travel-side of it I posted about!

But sometimes you have to start going down a certain path in order to notice …S.H.I.T.E…wrong way I really want to change direction.

With me it´s my little free time blog. But sometimes it´s things way bigger.

A relationship..?

A job..?

Something signed. sealed. delivered even like a marriage.

When you notice you´re moving along a path but you´re heart is not in it, it can be terrifying. Especially if something is at stake.

The feelings of a person you love. You´re income. The recognition of people you think a lot of.

All not worth following a lie… Lying to ourselves is torture. And change is needed to get your mojo back!

The mission to finding my new blogging passion, niche is subtly becoming clearer and this page will subtly change…

It won´t be a one on one travel page any longer…

Because travelling is my job, my life, what people expect and advise me to write about, but not all my heart and passion is about…


(   For more travel fun join me on Instagram. I am excited to meet you;)   )


-Till next time






I sit still and I can feel you close to me. I try to relax and let you reach me, flow through me, feed me. You are my “Inspiration” after all.

It is simply you I need to fulfill myself. No pressure…

But I feel pressure. Especially in those moments, when I am so close to realizing what you want to tell me. 

In those moments I am so close to catching you, finding an idea. Something I can pursue. 

Sometimes you are briefly caught between the soft clasp of my fingers and then you just disappear into thin air again.Leaving me back at square one. 

What we are looking for is right in front of us. Happiness and love resides within ourselves. Isn’t that what we are meant to believe?

Calming, strengthening thought. I agree and I believe!

But nevertheless frustrating when not accessible…

Sometimes inspiration, a thought, a dream quietly sails by, nearly unnoticed and we manage to grasp it. Lock it down. Use it. It was given to us.

But sometimes it gets away before we can make use of it.

It can feel as though we are being tortured. An oasis of creativity and inspiration dangling in front of us going to waste, because we can’t always see it clearly.

But I don’t believe our dreams and inspirations want to hurt us and discourage us. I feel often they want us to bring them home to us, as much as we want them home where they belong. Appreciated and supported.

Our dreams and ideas belong out there, fulfilled and realized. They are not tormenting us by playing “Hide and seek”. 

They are softly singing to us. Guiding us towards them. Towards the light. And if we miss them..?

They will simply try again another time. 
They want to be discovered after all…

(Image: imgfave.com)


I am in the present moment. I breath in and out…

I reflect upon my breathing, I go about my day. The present moment doesn’t always seem to stick for long enough though.

But when it does, I am amazed at how full and abundant my life in this very moment is.

 It is a feeling of being grounded and at peace. It is a feeling worth waiting for. 

Other times I am thrown back to a past memory. A time long ago. A person long ago and I feel pain. I try to fight these thoughts away.

Afterwards I feel bad .

Bad that I let these thoughts and memories get to me.



Stupid me. Aren’t we all supposed to move on?


Moving on is an active choice.YES!

But it also requires patience and acceptance. Sometimes the acceptance that there are indeed scares that might never completely heal. Not even with time. Some scars will always burn a little…might never truly fade into invisibility.

They might stay as a reminder.

But not as a reminder of how you have failed to move on completely and should just let go for goodness sakes, but maybe reminding you a little of how well you have indeed already moved on.

But that there was this big thing and this big thing, like it or not, is chapter of your life. A chapter you can’t rewrite. You can’t change your past.

You can be gentle towards yourself and understand that it takes time though.

And the goal is not to forget, even though you’d love that most of all, not to be followed by something from the past, casting a shadow on your beautiful present or future…

Be gentle to your scars. Now and then they will pipe up, to remind you that they are there.

Acknowledge they are there. Comfort them and let them slowly disappear into the background again.

Life is happening. Get back to doing your thing…


They never said it was going to be easy.They also never said it was going to be as hard as it sometimes is.

Being an adult, we never are just that…

  Inside of me resides a little soul from the past. A part of me that never grew up. Got hung up along the way of climbing the age-ladder. 

That little soul is my inner-child. It reminds me in my adult life, during unexpected moments,of its delicate presence, that it is still there needing to be cared for and healed.

Healed from what? I am busy! Being an adult with work, relationships, finances.

But some things can’t be pushed aside for eternity. Sooner or later the little voice inside of me becomes louder. Craving attention. 

This is the source of my true wants and needs. The secret bearer of the puzzle pieces to make my heart complete. 

There’s no point in ignoring shortcomings. Not even those of a childhood trapped inside of me. I have to give in, listen to it, acknowledge it. And then …

The voice is gone. Quiet. Calm returns I can get on with my day. 

My inner child just needed attention,love, encouragement, that it’s ok just the way it is. Always has been. It needed my adult self to pay attention to it.

A long the course of its upbringing, it losts it’s way…

And decided to wait in my heart until years later the adult me was strong enough to listen to it, care for it and love it.

You are me after all...

Trapped Voice


I’ve always loved to write. It’s something that has never failed me. 

It is reliable in life to just pick up a pen, in my case pencil and write down lists,thoughts,dreams,letters I’ll send, letters I’ll never send to that person but had to get out of my system, short story’s, or even the odd poem here and there.

I mean heck! I can be anything in the privacy of my own home.

Lately when I’ve wanted to write, something odd happens. My throat tightenes and I can’t manage to get the words out and onto paper.

It’s a blockage. A blockage that I will not let frustrate me, it sometimes makes me grin, because I can’t understand it… 

” I just has something to say but it’s not ready to come out and into print”


Its a weird feeling. A feeling of limitation. As though I’ve lost my freedom. My juice has run out. Gosh it makes me feel so useless. 

Have I nothing? Nothing productive to share?

I must have something bubbling, that is of interest to me, because my heart and soul is still working away, making me restless inside my body. Fidgetting, shaking with my legs, bodily movements and impulses annoying the crap out of the people closest to me.

I’d love to put something down on paper, but nothing productive comes out.

Then I noticed. It’s not a creative block…it’s just WRITING BLUES.

And then I started investing time in putting my thoughts and love and juice into expressing myself differently.

In pictures.

When at first you don’t succeed, give it time to come back to you, while you do something else you’re passionate about.

I have paused my hobby writing, but found other ways to live out my needs.

Telling stories through pictures.

Instagram allows me to post and share picture, that tell a little tale about my life and my interests, but allow me to put my writing at rest.

My writingsoul needs time to recuperate and get inspired again. And then the words will flow again. I’m sure. But in the meantime there’s no need to worry. So much time in a day to be filled with other passions… 

Don’t fret, accept and have a good time.

Express yourself differently and writing will come back to you.

Bloggers Fatigue& Procrastinating


During my flat-move I have suffered some bloggers fatigue. Every time I picked up a pen to write the idea of resting just seemed so much easier and better. Sometimes it’s just so much easier snuggling under a duvet and hiding away than getting your arse out and about and sharing with the world.

Truth is though when you do get up and go about your day, or put on your Laptop and post, you feel a small sense of achievement after.

Blogging is great for anybody wanting to take baby steps towards becoming more routined and for us all to stop procrastinating.

Most people procrastinate a bit and that is fine. Sometimes is does feel better leaving the washing till AFTER we’ve finished our coffee. But in most cases it’s just a slippery slope, we all know better. We all know some habits…( iPhone just wrote ‘Hobbits’ lol) aren’t good for us. It’s just getting it into our systems and making it an automatic mechanism that is sometimes damn difficult.

What I used to do in times of bad procrastination was:

  1. Force yourself to do task a day you aren’t really motivated at all about.  Just knowing afterwards that you can tick off something important feels good and rewarding.

With Blogging you get to be creative and can motivate yourself knowing that someone will read what you are writing and know what you’re about.

Blogging Fatigue makes you feel like you got nothing and will do some writing another day, but one you just start a lot just happens on its own. Opening doors of possibilities on even the laziest of days.


I am crazy in love with this time of year.


Every evening from about 5 pm, THE XMAS-ALBUM is on loop. My home, my food, my entertainment mostly revolves around something christmassy.

There is so much bad going on in the world. So many hardships in everyday life.

I have the tradition of blocking the month December for only cozy, happy thoughts.

It is naive, it is living in a fairytale and it doesn’t always work but for me: I try my best to make IT  happen.

It all starts with my home. Our home is the one thing we should invest in to make it warm and inviting. Not for our guests, but for ourselves.

So many students or people who work long hours just see their apartments as dumping grounds for their tired bodies to sleep and then leave the next morning.

Things are said like “I’m hardly ever there.” or ” I much rather go out”.

Well friends: ” If you treat your apartment like an actual HOME, you might enjoy being there more and then every month will be well worth paying the rent.

Tastes in decoration vary, I’m not even going to go into where and how I hang up my lights etc.

But I will share one thing.

My home MUST-HAVE in DECEMBER is : *drumroll*


I know it sounds so ridiculous. But a lovely scent in your home helps so much to bond with your place and relax. A scented candle doesn’t have to remind you of old lady florals, heavy with rose or lavender. There is a scent for every home. From mature florals, woody masculine scents, light smells that slowly wrap themselves around you to intense smells that punch you in the face.

Smells have such a massive psychological effect on us, why not use them for our well-being?

I personally prefer soft, clean and light smells for my home.

Even around X-MAS I haven’t gone for a  heavy gingerbread, nutty, caramelized orangey smell, more of a light pine and cedar wood with mint.

The scent I’m all about this month is :

Yankee Candles “Winter Glow”


But that’s just me…and in the “Department of Stink”, I am not that adventurous. I don’t have to have my home smelling of freshly baked gingerbread men and christmas cookies. I much rather just eat them.

At the moment there are so many ‘Special Edition Scents’ to choose from. Do you use anything in particular?

What one person loves might not be for another, and if your living with a man be careful not to go to town in the floral department as they often don’t really appreciate them.

For unisex households I like anything fresh and subtle like “Winter Glow” ,” Clean Cotton”, Yankee Candle.


or “New York; Black Tie” from Bath and Body Works.


Go out and sniff something good today, bring it home and transform your home into a snuggly Winter Wonderland or Icey Man-cave.